Everyone, even great writers and psychologists, apparently are stumped by a question. Which question, you ask? It is this mysterious question, the uncharted path, the typical problem: what do women want? Even Freud, the man who claimed to know about the mechanisms of our unconscious minds and about psychosomatic illnesses, claimed “The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is: What does a woman want?”. Can you believe that!?
So really, what do we want? Honestly, I think it’s not that difficult a question. I mean, sure, we change our minds, and we want things a certain way, but who doesn’t? And yes, some of us are enamored with sales and discounts. We get distracted time and again. It’s not a crime! We say no when we really mean yes, and sometimes we really do mean no. we expect people to understand the difference. Our goodbyes last way longer than our meetings. ‘Gifts’ are kind of a big deal. We check out other women, to see if their hair, clothes and shoes are better than us, and if yes, where do we get it? And we talk. And gossip. We remember things.
But see that’s generalizing. That’s what some
women people want. Each of us is different.
Wait, I’m digressing. I do that. Yes, so where were we? What women want! Right. Why this uproar about never understanding women? I’m going to try and break that down, by figuring out what we want (which shouldn’t be so hard) so nobody can ask that dim, pointless question again, and even if they do, the answer is clear in my head.
Four words. Huge implications: What do we want?
Attention, people to be near you when you’re sick, bone crushing hugs, someone to hold your hand when you’re nervous, to give it a gentle squeeze to show they’re there, a smile every now and then, a smile that reaches their eyes, eyes that really look at you. A look that makes you forget what you were going to say. Saying something that doesn’t matter, but said anyway, because they have to talk to you. Talking about meaningless things, which become profoundly meaningful. Find meaning in moments. Having moments that are dreamlike. Laughter. Laughing so much that you have that wonderful tummy ache. Being needed, wanted, and searched. But not stalked (!). People to treat us nicely, and not because of our gender. People to look at our face when talking to us, please! To remember what we like. To cook, or get for us, our comfort food. To not expect us to know everything about children or cooking. To tell us we look nice, even on, or especially, on bad hair days.
So tell me, really, is just women who want this? Can you honestly say that everybody wouldn’t want this too? I can only assume. Again how can we assume that all women, all people for that matter want the same things? So let’s stop saying what women want, and think of what any human being would want. And you’ll get your answer clear as day. It’s only as complicated or as easy as what you want. I’ve got news for you: People are complicated! Get over it! We are not all the same plastic toy. We have emotions, a jumble of thoughts and a unique personality. So it’s not like women are complicated and the rest of the world is an easy connect the dots.
It’s like when you start reading the last chapter, you’d obviously be clueless about the plot, characters and theme of the novel. And then you decide that the book is too complicated. Read from the start, have the patience, and you’d know.